Through Your Father's Eyes

I remember several things from my childhood about my father. One is that he was an excellent provider. Although he was a pastor, he worked on the side as a dental technician. That additional occupation provided our family a second income and a comfortable standard of living. He was an industrious person and modeled for me the value work. He was also a stickler about time. He always told me, “Che, be prompt and never keep another person waiting. That is the height of disrespect.” I don't think I ever saw my father late to any appointment or event.

I definitely “caught” those two life values from my father. I have always been involved in multiple activities that provide more than one source of income for my family. And I am a very punctual person. I'm never late. In a significant way, the world I now live in, I learned through my father's eyes.

What world did you inherit “through your father's eyes?” I was surprised to discover recently that research on the impact fathers have on their children is a relatively new field. The importance of mothers, of course, has been known for centuries, and much research has been conducted on the influence mothers have on their children. But fathers also make a significant contribution to their children's emotional and psychological health.

Research indicates that mother's interactions with children focus more on nurturing and comforting while fathers tend to stimulate, encourage and challenge their children. Even in infancy, babies whose fathers actively play with them are more confident, bolder and explore their environment more eagerly. Even the stimulating, roughhouse type of play that mothers feel gets children too excited before bedtime, is beneficial to children. Research shows that children engaged in this type of play with their fathers, learn to regulate their feelings and behavior, and over time develop better self-control.

Children whose fathers are actively involved with them as they grow older, display accelerated cognitive development, have higher tested IQs, earn higher grades in school, and go further in their formal education. Starting with simple self-help skills when their children are young, fathers spend more time challenging their children to learn, expecting them to master tasks, and teaching them to be responsible. This influence results in children who are more independent, more motivated to achieve, and have higher self-esteem than children who do not have this type of father input.

Both sons and daughters learn very important things about their role in life and marriage from their fathers. Sons develop an image of what it means to be an adult male who accepts responsibility, is able to make commitments to others and keep them, and treats women with respect and affection. Daughters learn to respect themselves, to know they can make their way in the world, and what qualities to look for in a potential mate.

God understands that we get our view of the world through our father’s eyes. That's why he has taken the role of Heavenly Father for all who will accept His offer of love and salvation through Jesus Christ. He wants to give to each one of us an understanding of who we are through His eyes. We are deeply loved and so highly valued that no price was too dear to restore us to a relationship with Him.

On this Father's Day, if you are a father, realize how incredibly important you are in creating the world your children will live in. And no matter who you are, take a few minutes and see yourself and your world through your Heavenly Father's eyes.

Come join us this Father's Day at 9:00 AM or 11:00 AM. We will be discussing “The Christlike Father,” another in our series, “Christlike Families.”