My Other Half?

We have all heard married people refer to their spouse as “my other half,” or “my better half.” And many single people feel like they are only half a person, waiting to find “their other half.” But is that really true? Are singles only half a person?

Increasingly, more Americans find themselves in the search for “the other half.” There are nearly 97,000,000 unmarried Americans, 61% of whom have never been married before. As a pastor, I've talked with many unmarried people, those who have never married and those who have been previously married. I find that there are 5 very common misconceptions that single people have about their current life situation.

“I can't have a full life without a partner. I need a partner to complete me.” This is probably the single most common misconception I hear. While a partner provides important companionship, no human being can complete us. We find our true identity and fulfillment in life in an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus told His disciples, “I have come to give you abundant life.” (John 10:10b) We are told in Colossians 2:10: “You have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”

“I can't find my life purpose till I find my life partner.”  Many singles put their life literally on hold, feeling they can’t move ahead until they find a marriage partner. But each of us is a unique whole individual to God. And He gives us the assurance that He is working out a destiny that He has prepared for us. (Ephesians 2:10) We can began walking in that destiny as a single person, and enjoy an exciting and meaningful life.

“All the good potential marriage partners are already taken.”  Many singles, who say they are waiting to find “Mr. or Ms. Right,” are really looking for “Mr. or Ms. Perfect.” They've established a set of standards that no human being can ever attain. We need to remember we are not marrying Jesus Christ, but another human being. That person will have qualities that we love and flaws that frustrate us, just like we do. Marriage is not a matter of getting what we want, but loving what we get!

“I need someone to make me happy.”  I always get uneasy when I hear a single say this because I know that no partner can meet this type of demand. If another person is the focus of our happiness, we will find ourselves feeling disappointed and discontent. Only an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ can bring us continuing joy and happiness. (Nehemiah 8:10; Psalm 28:7) This is equally true whether we are single or married, so you can be happy while you're still single.

“If I were married, I would feel secure, knowing I won't be deserted.”  This is an erroneous assumption. Currently the divorce rate is at 50%. But let's assume that your marriage is loving and long-lasting. No one is going to be there for you forever. Death happens to all of us and it will happen to you or your spouse. Only God will never desert you or forsake you. (Joshua 1:5)

Marriage can provide wonderful companionship, but as a single person you can be complete, have purpose and destiny, and be happy and secure. Seek intimacy with Jesus Christ. He wants to give you a fulfilled and wonderful life now.

Come join us this Sunday at 9:00 AM or 11:00 AM. Our topic is “Christlike Singles,” and is part of our current series on “Christlike Families.”