Discipline: Who Needs It?

When you hear the word “discipline,” what comes to mind? Do you remember being hit, yelled at, ridiculed, put in timeout or grounded? Do you feel anger, fear, resentment, shame, sadness or the desire for revenge? For many, these are common reactions to the word discipline.

I doubt that very many of you feel love, gratitude, or appreciation when you hear “discipline.” This is because for most of us discipline is synonymous with punishment. We did something wrong or something our parents disliked, so they inflicted some type of pain or suffering on us. Too often, punishment is administered in the heat of anger, leaving both physical and emotional wounds on children. We feel worthless, rejected, abandoned, alone and alienated from the source of love.

Often these negative feelings follow us into our adult life and affect the ways we respond to instruction by authority figures such as teachers, employers, coaches etc. Our resentment over discipline is expressed in negative attitudes to police, military and elected officials, even the IRS! For some people, their negative attitudes and behaviors are so severe that they keep them in constant conflict with legal authorities, and spend years of their lives incarcerated.

But discipline is not punishment. The goal of punishment is retribution or payback. The goal of discipline is to provide training that corrects and molds character. While being corrected doesn't always feel good, discipline instructs and teaches frequently before an infraction occurs, as well as after. It seeks to instill self-discipline within the individual, so they can operate by making decisions based on principle, and not just be driven by their impulses. This form of behavior is essential for success in any area: athletics, academics, career, relationships of all types, etc.

When people are disciplined in this way they know they are loved, wanted, valued and worth their parents’ time and attention. True discipline gives children a positive self-image, respect for themselves and others, and a sense of personal responsibility and competence. Loving discipline is one of the best gifts a parent can give to their child.

Who needs this type of discipline? We all do!

Father God recognizes our ongoing need for discipline, and He lovingly seeks to provide it before we run into difficulty. Psalm 94:12 reminds us, “Blessed is the person you discipline, oh Lord, the person you teach from your law.” The Bible admonishes us to receive discipline. “The person who ignores discipline despises themself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” (Proverbs 15:32)

Father God's preferred method of discipline is through teaching and instruction. He tells us in Proverbs 4:20–22: “My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to My words. Don't lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.”

Too many of us still see Father God as punitive and vindictive. But what does He really think of punishment? Actually He warns parents about the long-term damages of harsh punishment. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Start spending time in God's word. It's full of teaching and instruction that provides you with life-giving discipline that will bring you success. The book of Proverbs is a great place to start.

Please come join us this Sunday at 9:00 AM or 11:00 AM. Pastor Karl Malouff will be preaching on "Building Lasting Relationships" as we continue our series on “The Family Mountain”.